1/31/10

Re-living each and every day

There are times , you are sure you want to move on and experience everything that you had ever dreamt of ....But you are so scared of the failures and past experiences that you prefer living in a cocoon rather than trying out and living that life........
living life at that edge , that razor edge you always wanted to live....

so many times , you have lived life as though it was just a repitition of the previous day , as though you are reliving each and every day of your life and you hate it to the core and yet you would not b able to get out of that cycle cos you are caught up......


is it that tough ?

to take life in your hands and start a life all over again ...........



its funny , but Boman Irani said this while accepting his award today : i started acting at the age of 44 ! and i love it...........

sharukh is 44 and has been acting for last 20 years and he is tired of it .......

we decide which state we want to be in ?

1/30/10

excerpts continued from dreams

shikha stood and thought about how death made her feel, it was cold and numb , like any great movie had taught her to feel but when she was finally faced by it, there was something about that she could not comprehend .......

they were right , it was cold and numb but it was painful and she could feel the blood freezing in her vain as though she would choke....

she never felt sad in the last 1 year , every death made life more comprehensible to her, in every funeral she just stood and stared at the flowers. she was trying to find meaning in every death possible, but there was no meaning. there were no angels , there was no god

nobody came to console her and she had to continue staring at the flowers.

by the 6th funeral , she started smiling at the coffins, she started observing the patterns on it, she started comparing the soil around and she longer missed people .she wanted it more peaceful and less dramatic. she wanted people to understand that funerals were not meant for them but for the dead and let him feel it for one day , that they really were part of this universe.

she always had a connection with old people as though they had some magic to pass on , some portions that only they could share... so death was the part of that magic, that neverland that only they could see,

she wished no one cried, no one disturbed in this whole magical process, she wished people understood the relevance of death......


she wanted people to get why others were dying.
they were fulfilling their purpose
they were dying cos we could live

it was still cold and numb.
and it was still a funeral
and she still smiled.

1/28/10

excerpt from a dream...

Shikha knew she was gonna cry , really bad , but she could not and all she could do was stare ....... it was blank in front and all the details of the road were something she remembered very well. it was just as though she could draw the whole thing with one stroke of her paint , it was plain red and that was the image she wanted to paint........


she could see herself falling from a cliff, someone stood there at the top and she knew someone was looking for her , she was not sure whether the person wanted her to fall off and begin all over again or just wanted her to remain clinging there . it was plain painful . she could hear the temple verses and it haunted her..........
if only she could paint everything red, just as the sky she imagined , a sky that was red, a sky that had no clouds, something that did not give hope , something that did not raise curiosity.....


maybe it was tough to paint , to strike the brush , to form the colour she wanted to see.


she stood staring at things, she did want to move , but there was nothing red to hold.

1/5/10

idiots who remained idiots

after watching 3 idiots today , the only thing i could think was, distortion of the image of RYAN, i guess anyone who read the book so wanted to know why exactly ws ryan like that ......................

y was that nothing mattered to him , and nothing really was important. how he could afford to believe in things and how he continued in believing in such things.,
the book never gave reasons and maybe thats y it was so scared!

Ryan was more than just a charcter , maybe chetan bhagat never intended him to be such a good stuff , but he was an ideology himself..................

3 idiots gave reason for his nature , it gave boundaries and somehow everything was there in open ................

y was that all 3 became famous in the end. wat was wrong if rancho had not been successful ..... y was there such a big insistence on succeeding wen all he wanted was to learn ......................


wat was wrong , if he had ended as a loser!


maybe its a movie and as everyone wanted a good ending ..............

but am sure there are lot of ryans out there , who never became anything .........................


so there are idiots who remain idiots all their lives!


rememebr them ...............

1/3/10

100 years of solitude for every feminist is what they want!

feminism is something i have been trying to handle for last one year . am sure of the fact that i do not hate men, but i reallly do not understand that why exactly is it so tough to talk the language of woman , they very fact that being emotional is considered to girly and weak is something i never understood/..............


ppl want to celebrate the 100 years of feminism , for what! i totally respect the woman who had the guts to leave the main domain and fight in an area which hardly had any voice but 100 years down the lane i personally feel it has gone down the drain !

i think twice before walking alone at night1 its not cos am scared of guys , but its cos am scared of society . if something does happen to me , ill be questioned for being there at the first place......... y do i have to live in fear and i find it perfectly normal if a guy leers at me in public ..................... y is to so conditioned and that no one feels that there is something odd......


hwat is this 100 years of feminism ....

are we looking for the basic 100 years of solitude