12/30/11

bla bla.. london ...

its easy being honest , when it is at the expense of someone else. Ut is when you feel like you can bear the consequences that you flood the other person with honesty. Is it really human that you always need a backup . Who will remain in his shit forever. Is it your backup or do you genuinely need someone in shit ?

Does summer romance exist only in movies? Can virtual romance be limited to PS ?are books leading to escapsim ? Am I scared to hear my own ideas ? Am I saturated or am I just running away from swarm of bees . Question should be why would anyone run away from the only thing that defines me . It is complicated. That is so simpliistic . Like he said : tolstoy is not dramatic enough for you. Scared of the depth of the pessimism or scared of the depth of the scars of the heals . How much can one survive or how much can one inflict .

Even after all the precautions of the world, destiny still prevaiils and takes better of me . Its as though its undecipherable after a certain point. Even though I would like to be in change , I think destiny is doing a better hon than I have ever done in my life. Did I sound different ? I am less conscious, or am I less spontaneous . I know my usage of words have changed. My sentence structure has. I let wind blow into my nose and I let my cheek bones move extra. Maybe thats why sound different ?

Should I not be sounding different ? Should I not be altering ? I am in different city , mongst different cutlures. I am bound to change. Bound to alter. In a way find something new . New that I something that I have not experinced before. Something I dnt know how to respond to . Facing something new is scary . One is not taught how to respond. One is unsure of everything that one could sense. Suddenly there is dearth of senses. Viison changes. Values shake. Should one keep testing oneself with idea of new . Would the mirror ever break one day / how can you test yoursefl with these experiments ? What if you break ? Will you ? You will .. can you wear that hat ? Do you need a home ? Do you want something constant ! Wrt to time , space and feelings .. is there any dimension beyond it !